‘How to manage mourning and not hurt your child?’

As she raises two kids with longtime love Bryan Randall and stars in the buzz-worthy The lost citySandra Bullock currently rates her life at 9.2 out of 10 – a high number, to be sure, but one that recognizes that “the other shoe is going to fall”.

In a new interview with CBS Sunday morning‘s Tracy Smith, the 57-year-old actress has opened up about being on a professional and personal high, only for it all to fall apart. In 2010, after years of filing paperwork to become an adoptive parent, Bullock received an “out of the blue” call that a baby boy, Louis Wood, would soon be his. “I was handed a plastic bag and a child,” she told Smith. Bullock and her then-husband, Jesse James, kept the adoption process quiet, and the blind side The actress won the Academy Award for Best Actress two months later.

Although Bullock now admits she was more concerned about bringing her baby home on Oscar night than bringing home a golden statuette, her joy was short-lived. at the Oscars, several women went public that they had an affair with James, who had been married to Bullock since 2005. The Garage Monster The host then entered a rehab facility in an attempt to save his marriage, but by April Bullock had filed for divorce. The divorce was finalized in July and Bullock opted to adopt Louis as a single parent.

Dealing with the shock of James’ betrayal came second after raising his infant son, Bullock told Smith.

“So many things happened,” Bullock said of the scandal. “How do you deal with grief and not hurt your child in the process? He’s a newborn – they take whatever you feel. So my obligation was to him, and not to taint the first year of his life with my sorrow.”

Sandra Bullock opens up about raising two black children and the aftermath of her split from Jesse James (Photo: Jamie McCarthy/Getty Images)

The Oscar-winning actress then adopted her then-toddler daughter Laila in 2015. Both Louis and Laila are black, and Bullock cried as she spoke about her fears of protecting them in a society where racism continues to crack down.

“My children are black, she said. I have a level of defense that millions of mothers who are not white have. I understand how scary it is.”

Fighting back tears, she added, “I’m really moved because I think of hundreds of years of women who have never been able to relax in motherhood. They have never been able to relax.”

Black mothers, she continued, need to worry about their children “in a way that we as white women haven’t had to worry about.”

“You worry about other things, but if you really, really, really take a minute to think about [it]“, she added, highlighting “hundreds of years of mothers unable to freely enjoy the birth of a child; their son becoming a young man. All of these things represent fear and loss. “

Despite the excitement generated by the lost citywhich she also produced, Bullock is more determined to take a break from his family than lead the box office. Although she hinted in a recent Fox News interview that she will be back on screen when her children — currently pre-teens — turn around 16 or 17, the floats of hope The star told Smith she would be back once she stopped thinking “I want to be home” while filming.

“I’m doing no one, who is investing in a project, a favor if I say, ‘I just want to be home,'” she explained. “Because I was always running… towards the next thing. I just want to be present and in charge of one thing.”

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